The Incomparable Protagonist (Installment 2)

“Do you smell that?”

The meaning of this question is pretty obvious. But the reactions Tom Northfarm got to it over the years were not what you might expect. Mostly, people would look at him a little puzzled and ask, “Smell what?” When he responded by describing an odor that couldn’t possibly be in the vicinity, invariably the respondents would say, “Uh, no.” With the added “idiot” or “freak” or “weirdo” left out but still very much understood. It was things like being in the boys locker room after gym class and asking if anyone smelled guava juice that would earn him extra scorn, taunts referencing his sexual preference, and occasional beat downs. It was the beat downs that finally convinced him to keep his odor inquiries to himself.

Tom yearned to talk about what he was smelling with someone, anyone. But he had no takers. Everyone wrote him off as a weirdo. Even his own parents thought he was rather odd. But he knew, deep within his gut, that he really was smelling the things he was describing.

It didn’t take him long to deduce that since no one else ever smelled what he smelled, than he must be smelling odors from farther away. But how far? That was the real question. He wanted to do experiments to figure it out. But he couldn’t plant odiferous objects himself because knowing what he was smelling could make him believe he was smelling it rather than actually smelling it. And he wasn’t about to take anyone into his confidence in order to have them plant smells for him.

One summer his senior year in high school he decided it was time to put in a concerted effort to find one of the smells. He set his alarm for 5 am. He got up, packed a backpack with some food and water, left a note for his parents, and walked out the front door. He stood on the front steps of his house for a few moments, feeling the crisp summer breeze on his face, then he inhaled a deep breath through his nose.

Several smells came to him, but the strongest was the smell of wet dog and rubber. So he set off walking. He turned left out of his house and the smell got stronger so he continued. At the corner he went straight but soon the smell got just a tad weaker, so he went back to the corner and turned left. Again it weakened so he turned around and kept on and the smell grew again. He continued on this way, mapping out his route, for over seven hours. It was about 1 pm when he came to a small park with a creek running through it. He went towards the creek and there he found a drainage pipe coming off the western embankment and inside he heard the anxious whines of a trapped canine. He peered in but couldn’t see much in the darkness. So he shimmied into the pipe and as his eyes adjusted he noticed a beagle wedged in the drain by an old tire. He let the dog sniff him and talked calmly to it to gain its confidence. Then he grasped the dogs collar and gently pulled while simultaneously pushing the top of the tire. It only took about five careful mintues and he had the poor dog free. He scooted backwards out of the drain with the dog and sat on the bank with it while the dog wagged and licked him appreciatively. He sat there for a few moments exhausted but satisfied, contemplating the fact that he was holding a dog he had first smelled over 20 miles away.

There was an address on the collar. He remembered the street from his wanderings and brought the dog back to its home. The owners were extremely grateful and asked how on earth he found him. “I smelled him.” Said Tom.

-friday