The Incomparable Protagonist (Installment 3)

Carl Dosterosky, for as long as he or anyone else can remember, has wanted to be a superhero. He started collecting comics almost as soon as he could read. At first he wanted to be Superman, the ultimate superhero. As he got a little older he wanted to be Spiderman because he seemed more real, more feasible. In his teens he went through a Wolverine phase, a Daredevil phase, and a Batman phase. But at the heart of Carl’s desire wasn’t any one superhero. He’d take any of them as long as he was recognized as one.

After about sophomore year in high school, Carl refrained from sharing his deepest desire with people. It wasn’t generally received favorably. He graduated high school without much fanfare, and without getting bitten by a radioactive arachnid or being exposed to gamma rays. He went through college similarly ingloriously without drinking a fellow co-ed’s chemistry experiment or training with a secret society of dark ninjas. But still, Carl dreamed of someday becoming a superhero.

It was a mild October afternoon when Carl, now a data entry technician at PolyGlobal Worldwide Industries Inc., walked into the Penultimate National Bank during a holdup. Unfortunately for Carl, he was engrossed in the latest issue of The New Avengers and didn’t notice the five gunmen holding hostage some thirty seven people face down on the floor with their hands behind their heads. So he nonchalantly walked through the prostrate crowd and bumped into the fiercest gunman of the group. A large man with large muscles and a large gun to go with his large grimace. Carl said, “Oh, excuse me.” before even looking up. But when he did, he nearly fainted. The odd thing was, the large gunman with the large muscles and large gun had lost his large grimace and looked himself like he might faint. He started to stammer and then practically lost his footing as he scrambled to escape the bank while yelling to his cohorts, “Let’s get outta here!” Carl was rather puzzled, and increasingly so as the bank patrons and employees started coming over to him to thank and praise his good deed. When the bank manager finally said to him, “I never believed there really were superheroes.” it dawned on him. Despite not having any obvious power, like super strength or shooting flames from his hands, or being able to fly, he had the power to have people believe that he was a superhero.

-friday